Can I be honest?

Oh my goodness... we are 17 days away from the wedding! I still can't get over how close it really is! I'm really starting to geek out about it!

But can we pause for just a moment while I'm being completely honest?



Thanks.


Ok, here goes. I really hate it when people ask me if I am stressed about the wedding. No offense to all y'all who have asked me, but it's a REALLY STUPID QUESTION!

"Why?" you may ask.

Well, because when you ask me that question, I want to smack you on the forehead and say "No duh!"

Not only have I had the MOST STRESSFUL semester in college EVER, but I also am planning the wedding of the decade (not counting the prince and Kate).

I was student teaching. I had my own classes to attend every night. I worked on weekends. And I had a wedding to plan.

You tell me if you think I should be stressed or not.

I mean really, if I wasn't stressed about it, there might be something wrong with me. Stress can be good. Stress (and about a zillion cups of coffee) has been what helped me make it through the past four months of H-E-double-hockey-sticks!

So when you ask me, "Hey, do you have everything done?", my answer will always be NO. I probably won't have things done even after the wedding is over. That's just the way life is.

I don't say this to be mean, but I'm just getting very tired of that question. It's like when we first got engaged and everyone asked the question, "So, have you two picked out a date yet?"

"Yes. But I'm not going to tell you!" is what I really wanted to answer. So I'd say, "Oh, not yet!"

These are honest thoughts from an honest, and stressed-out, bride.



Thanks for allowing me to be completely honest. Pause is officially over.

"Now, walk..."

This week has been absolutely awful. I had all sorts of drama going on in my life: drama with the wedding (from multiple people), drama with the school I teach at, and drama with the school I attend. Also, it was my birthday. (I'm not usually an "anti-birthday" person, but this year I just happened to have a bad day up until I saw Matthew. He definitely knows how to make bad my days turn around- *hint* cheese and Starbucks! )

Anyway, I think I had an official bridezilla meltdown. I cried three times.

In one day.

Yep.

I cried once in the car, once in the library at school, and once on the phone. I just couldn't handle everything that was happening at that point; it all seemed like it was falling apart. Everything that was happening seemed to be all about everyone else, and what I wanted really didn't matter.

It might come off sounding completely selfish, but I think that for one day, I should be allowed to have the wedding of my dreams. I should be allowed to have the people there that I want, I should be allowed to have everyone in one place at one time, and I should be allowed the same traditional prerequisite festivities (like a bachelorette party, getting hair done together, getting ready together, etc.) as anyone else. Why shouldn't I? It's probably my only opportunity to do so!

But I digress. Like I was saying, my week was awful. It really helped some situations to sleep on my anger; it allowed me to calm down. Crying helped. Talking things out helped. Realizing the things that I wanted and realizing that I needed to express those things explicitly was a big step for me. It's a very difficult line between being a b**** y bridezilla and telling others how I want my big day to go. I applaud anyone who can go through the whole wedding-planning process and successfully navigate through it and remain relatively unscathed. It's something I'm still working on; after all, I'm only human! But in the midst of me calming down from my latest mental and emotional collapse, I came across these wonderful words of wisdom from the great Randy Fennoli (yep, the guy from Say Yes to the Dress):

Take time to be in the moment. Planning a wedding usually takes a year or two, yet it seems like it passes by in the blink of an eye. Remember throughout the process to take time to enjoy each step. Savor the food tastings, enjoy viewing different venues, and, above all else, what girl wouldn’t enjoy shopping for the gown.

The same should be applied to your wedding day. Remember to breathe and take in each moment. As the doors of the church open up and you and your fiance see each other for the first time, pause and take in this moment. Look to your family and loved ones who have gathered to celebrate your wedding. Think about the new life you are starting. Now, walk.

- Randy Fennoli

Aah. I needed that.

It's started...

I can officially say that the stress is starting to get to me.

AAAAaaaahhhhhhHHH!

When did this happen? How did I realize this?

About two weeks ago, I received my annual evaluation at work. I've been there for 4 years now! As I sat down with my manager (who is new to this particular position at our particular location) and chatted with her about the upcoming year- my goals, plans, etc...- I started getting on the topic of how crazy my life is going to be.

I am student teaching this year. I am moving this year. Twice. I am getting married this year. If my fiance gets the big job he applied for, I will change work locations this year after my wedding. I will also change churches, possibly sooner than expected. I am graduating next year. I will then attempt to find a job in the education field (if schools are hiring?).

Oy vey! I am going crazy!

That was just the start. After my lovely chat during my evaluation (I got a raise, by the way...) I realized that I am working as many as 35 hours at my job while being in school full-time. Aah!

Then I had my first official wedding breakdown on Saturday that caused me to cry. (And no, I don't want to get into it right now...).

Is this how the rest of my year is going to go? I hate to sound like Debbie Downer over here, but really, if this is how everything is going to be, then I would really just like to go and elope already!

It would definitely save us a lot of money.

If only...

The adventure begins...

Well, not really. The adventure actually started a little over 4 years ago, when I started dating my Matthew. I had no clue back then what was going to happen when I said yes to being his girlfriend, and what crazy, amazing, wonderful things would happen on our journey together. What makes me even happier is that our journey is only just beginning!

Ok, enough of all that mushy crap :-)

This blog is going to be a way for me to document and remember all the craziness that is going to happen during the rest of our engagement, all that wedding planning, and whatever else life throws at me. Let me warn you though, my thoughts can be scattered, and mostly they'll be insignificant, so don't expect to read any type of literary work of genius here. (For that kind of stuff, you should check out my academic blog... there was some pretty cool awesomeness going on there... maybe one day I'll even add more genius!) Mainly, I hope that as I'm keeping records of this crazywonderful time in my life, anyone who reads this might be mildly amused.

Let the planning begin, and let the party ensue! Wish me luck!