"Now, walk..."

This week has been absolutely awful. I had all sorts of drama going on in my life: drama with the wedding (from multiple people), drama with the school I teach at, and drama with the school I attend. Also, it was my birthday. (I'm not usually an "anti-birthday" person, but this year I just happened to have a bad day up until I saw Matthew. He definitely knows how to make bad my days turn around- *hint* cheese and Starbucks! )

Anyway, I think I had an official bridezilla meltdown. I cried three times.

In one day.

Yep.

I cried once in the car, once in the library at school, and once on the phone. I just couldn't handle everything that was happening at that point; it all seemed like it was falling apart. Everything that was happening seemed to be all about everyone else, and what I wanted really didn't matter.

It might come off sounding completely selfish, but I think that for one day, I should be allowed to have the wedding of my dreams. I should be allowed to have the people there that I want, I should be allowed to have everyone in one place at one time, and I should be allowed the same traditional prerequisite festivities (like a bachelorette party, getting hair done together, getting ready together, etc.) as anyone else. Why shouldn't I? It's probably my only opportunity to do so!

But I digress. Like I was saying, my week was awful. It really helped some situations to sleep on my anger; it allowed me to calm down. Crying helped. Talking things out helped. Realizing the things that I wanted and realizing that I needed to express those things explicitly was a big step for me. It's a very difficult line between being a b**** y bridezilla and telling others how I want my big day to go. I applaud anyone who can go through the whole wedding-planning process and successfully navigate through it and remain relatively unscathed. It's something I'm still working on; after all, I'm only human! But in the midst of me calming down from my latest mental and emotional collapse, I came across these wonderful words of wisdom from the great Randy Fennoli (yep, the guy from Say Yes to the Dress):

Take time to be in the moment. Planning a wedding usually takes a year or two, yet it seems like it passes by in the blink of an eye. Remember throughout the process to take time to enjoy each step. Savor the food tastings, enjoy viewing different venues, and, above all else, what girl wouldn’t enjoy shopping for the gown.

The same should be applied to your wedding day. Remember to breathe and take in each moment. As the doors of the church open up and you and your fiance see each other for the first time, pause and take in this moment. Look to your family and loved ones who have gathered to celebrate your wedding. Think about the new life you are starting. Now, walk.

- Randy Fennoli

Aah. I needed that.